Scratch ‘n Lick

Scratch ‘n Lick ($2.99) by Yumo Ronze LLC

Available on iPhone, iPod Touch, iPad

Picture this: You’re sitting in a fancy bistro, you’re scanning the grossly overpriced menu, and then it hits you… you’re not in the mood for a $28 wild mushroom risotto with black truffle butter. All you really want is a damn cheeseburger. So, while all the yuppie snobs around you pretend to be impressed by 3 star food at 5 star prices, you quietly take out your iPhone and open up Scratch ‘n Lick… and you start licking. You’re licking your iPhone. Or, if you truly don’t give a F, you lick your iPad the way a dog licks a plate of bacon grease. And you’re LOVING it! You’re nearly convulsing. It tastes so good you’re practically in tears.

Well I exaggerate a little. OK FINE… I exaggerate a lot. But hear this! Scratch ‘n Lick is the real deal. It comes with three flavors included (banana, peach, and watermelon) and you actually CAN taste them. It’s faint, and it’s not exact, but you can taste them.

As with any app that makes re-donculous claims, I approached this one with an open mind and low expectations. I was actually expecting it to be some take on those old Scratch ‘n Sniff stickers from prehistoric times. Remember those? I actually still have a notebook full of them stashed in my dad’s basement.

Getting back to the point, Scratch ‘n Lick is NOT a rehash of an old sticker fad. It’s a radical new use of technology that I’m not even sure Apple has considered, and it can turn a Retina display into a “tastable” surface. Yumo Ronze, the maker of Scratch ‘n Lick, wouldn’t go into much detail about how it works but she did say that so far it only works on the Retina display (sorry Android users), and she also threw around some very scientific-sounding terms, possibly just to confuse me. It worked. Suffice it to say that the only word I understood was “oscillation”, which I guess makes sense because when you’re in the licking phase of Scratch ‘n Lick, the screen’s surface does seem to have some buzzing or vibration in it. It’s weird, and it’s also tasty!

But wait, it gets weirder! Scratch ‘n Lick comes with three flavors, but you can buy more flavors with in-app purchasing. The extra flavors are decidedly less healthy than the fruity defaults, but they seem fairly standard at first… that is, until you get to the bottom of the Buy Flavors screen. Cheeseburger, taco, french fries… okay sounds good… and Top Ramen?? Huh? Not sure if Miss Ronze is aware, but for the same price as this app you can buy like 20 Top Ramens and taste them for real!

And the crown jewel of the flavor store is the recently deceased KIM JONG IL. I’ve tasted *everything* in this app and to be honest the cheeseburger, taco, and fries all kind of taste the same. But North Korea’s legendary “Dear Leader” is different. I don’t want to ruin the surprise, but it’s different than all of the others. No, it doesn’t taste like a man or a corpse… not that I know what men or corpses taste like WINK WINK… but it definitely has its own, uh, “flavor”. Yumo confessed that she added it just to be funny, but apparently she worked very hard on engineering the taste.

If you think you’ve seen “everything” in the App Store, you need to try this. I wouldn’t call every flavor a home run, but the fact that you can taste anything on your iPhone or iPad without spilling something on it first is simply miraculous.

Visual Presentation Meh, I’ve seen better
Ease of Use You can just tap, you don’t really have to “scratch”
Functionality You now have a reason to lick your iPhone, nuff said
Value vs. Price I would pay $50 for this app, just for the novelty
Overall How many different ways can I say OMG???? But beware of friends wanting to lick your iPhone or iPad, that’s just gross
App Name: Scratch ‘n Lick (iTunes)
Version: 1.0
Price as of this writing: $2.99. A free version of this app is not available at this time.
iTunes category: Lifestyle
Available on: iPhone, iPod Touch, iPad
Developer: Yumo Ronze LLC
Device & iOS used for review: iPhone 4, iOS 5.1

2 Responses to “Scratch ‘n Lick”

  1. kay Says:

    Part of me kinda wishes I had developed this app….lol..

  2. El Says:

    april foooool lol

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