Q&F: New Years Resolutions

New Years Resolutions, aka the New Years Resolution Generator, wants to be a hilarious party joke but the reality is that it’s just kind of weird. Pretty much all you do with this thing is shake it to get a random “resolution”, and it might be entertaining if the resolutions were funny… or at least made a tiny bit of sense.

Here’s a quick sampling of the resolutions I get from five quick shakes of the iPhone:

I resolve to…

  • Seldom be tapdancing.
  • Seldom be tastelessly stealing.
  • Stop jazzercising.
  • Stop blowing snot bubbles.
  • Stop mouth-breathing too irritably.

Naturally I like the snot bubble joke, but don’t the rest of these one-liners sound like they could have been written by your dead grandmother?

Well, the jokes may suck the big the one but at least Left Brain Games was kind enough to build in some nice scenery to serve as the backdrop for this comedy trainwreck. Take away the ridiculously bad “resolutions” and you’ve got yourself a pretty decent 3D snowglobe that would definitely rival any of the free ones I reviewed in my Christmas Snowglobe Roundup. Unfortunately, the resolutions are a permanent fixture in this app! Awwwww dammit.